Of the Alphabet and Boredom
by Manic Pixie
Summary: A child of the Big Three's first guide to the alphabet, as written by Nico, Thalia, and Percy.


**Title: **Of the Alphabet and Boredom

**Authour(s): **Hime no Akuma, Kahlan the Dream Spirit

**Rating: **PG

**Warnings: **None

**Summary: **A child of the Big Three's first guide to the alphabet, as written by Nico, Thalia, and Percy.

**Word Count: **1194

**A/N: **

Greetings, Percy Jackson fandom. We come in peace (for now). Kahlan speaking. Akime came up with this, so I'm going to let her do all the work explaining, but I wanted to say that I helped come up with most of the letters.

_Not MOST of the letters. I think we each did 50/50. Anyhoo, the title of the story kinda explains it all, as does the introduction, so I'm gonna let you read, and stop my 2:36 AM ramblings. :D_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Percy~" Nico whined one hot summer's day. "I'm bored. Entertain me."

Percy gritted his teeth. This was the third time today that Nico had "asked" to be entertained. It seemed the 15 year old demigod couldn't keep himself amused for five minutes without needing to bug Percy.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Percy asked. As cute as Nico was when he was giving a puppy-dog look, there was only so much patience contained within the older demigod.

"I dunno, you'll think of something!" Why, oh gods why, did Nico have to become more like his 10 year old self the second he hit puberty?

"Hey, you two! Whatcha doin'?" Thalia came over and sat beside the others.

"Being bored. Help entertain me." Nico stretched and curled up like a cat. The ADHD part of Percy's brain wondered if Nico would purr if he got scratched behind the ears. It wouldn't be very surprising, and those ears were sticking out so much... Percy didn't even notice he was reaching for Nico's ears until Nico bit him.

"Ow!" Nico stuck his tongue out at Percy and stole a few sour gummie worms from the bag Percy was carrying, then took the entire bag.

"Did you know," Nico began, "that you taste really bad?" He popped a few more gummie worms in his mouth.

Thalia watched them, evidently amused. Finally, she said, "Why don't you write something?"

Nico frowned. "What would I write?"

"I dunno. Start small. Like with an alphabet book."

Two hours, three ballpoint pens (not including Riptide), and twenty sticks later, the three Big Three children proudly showed off their handiwork to Annabeth.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_**The Child of the Big Three's Guide to the Alphabet (and life)**_

Written by: Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, and Nico di Angelo-_ but mostly Nico- _and Percy- **and Thalia**

Written with: After trying unsuccessfully to write with Riptide, we settled with an ordinary ballpoint pen that only worked after being hit repeatedly with a stick.

_Italics are Nico_, **bold is Thalia (indeed I am)**, regular is Percy_ (because nobody cares about him)_.

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

"_A" is for Aquarium, where Percy swims with the dolphins_

I do not! I swim with sharks.

**Percy, let it go. You're just sounding pathetic.**

"**B" is for Big Three, which our daddy is part of.**

_This entitles you to one dangerous and screwed up life, free of charge!_

Down with the language, Nico. There may be kids reading...

"C" is for Chariot. It's not fun. Trust me.

_And you would know this... how?_

Don't ask.

"**D" is for Dionysus, the camp director.**

No matter what he says, my name is NOT Peter.

_And mine's not Nicky._

**And mine's not Tina.**

"_E" is for Evacuate, which you should do whenever Percy gets on the dance floor._

It's not THAT bad...

**Percy, I've seen you. It's THAT bad.**

"_F" is for Farm, which Demeter will make you work on._

And you would know this... how?

_I did a six-month stint as a farmer because of her._

**Wait, you FARMED and you didn't DIE?**

_Don't sound so surprised. I actually got a pretty good crop._

"**G" is for Gods, which you yell when things go wrong.**

Often accompanied by several other expletives.

_None of which I'm allowed to repeat here, dam-_

"_H" is for Hades. Greek god of the underworld, my dad, don't try to understand his sense of humor._

**How do you manage to live with him?**

_I'm only there for the fall and winter, really. Every other time I'm stuck going to an actual school._

"**I" is for Irony, which is the one god that everybody wishes didn't exist**

_If my life got any more ironic, I think I'd die from irony overdose._

How is YOUR life ironic?

_...No comment._

"J" is for Jelly. Blueberry is the best.

_No way! Blackberry is best!_

**You two, stop arguing over something so stupid, especially when it's so obvious that strawberry is best.**

"**K" is for Kronos, whom all agree is the worst father/grandfather ever.**

I still say that it's creepy to think that Luke was harbouring the angry spirit of our grandfather.

_...Shall we make a pact to NEVER think of that again?_

"_L" is for Lollipop_

What does "lollipop" have to do with any of this?

_Nothing. I just want one._

"M" is for Minotaur. Stab with own horn.

_Me Percy. King of Meenotaur. Me keel eet wif bare handz._

Oh, ha ha, very funny.

_Thank you._

"_N" is for Nico!_

Why do you get your own letter?

_Because I'm special._

"_O" is for Orpheus_

Aka: the dude who wanted to resurrect his dead girlfriend.

**Well, it was either that, or live in a cave with a cat and a lyre. Personally, I'd take the Underworld.**

_I dunno... You've never had to listen to my dad's jokes before..._

"P" is for Poseidon

_The second of the gods to break the pact._

**You're never gonna let the fact that your dad never broke the pact go, are you?**

_Probably not._

"Q" is for Quest, something you shouldn't ask for in the middle of a war.

_Especially if the quest involves a hungry satyr and no enchiladas._

...How would you know this?

_No comment._

"R" is for Rachel, whose worst fear is giving a prophecy about the Pythagorean Theorem in math class.

**That could probably happen, and I don't think that anyone around here would react.**

_I KNOW no one around here would react._

"_S" is for Sword. Grab the non-pointy end._

"S" is for Sarcasm, an art which every half-blood must be adept at.

_I think it's more important that you don't hold the sword backwards, honestly._

"_T" is for Tonsils, which Percy and Annabeth used to be connected by._

We were never connected by the tonsils!

**Um, yeah, you were.**

_No, they never were. Tonsils aren't far enough back._

"U" is for Unicorn! Pretty pony...

_...That is a side of you I never wanted to see, Percy._

**I hope we never see it again.**

"**V" is for Violence.**

_This is your life. Get used to it._

"W" is for War.

**The gods start it...**

_...And we finish it._

"X" is for Xenophilia, the only word we could come up with that wasn't Xylophone

_You know, I bet we could count all the words that start in "x" on the fingers of one of a child of Nemisis' hands, and that's when they're already missing a finger or two._

"**Y" is for Yellow**

_Yellow?_

**Yellow.**

"**Z" is for Zeus, whom you shouldn't get angry or you could end up a fried spot on the wall.**

_Wall optional._

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

Annabeth finished looking over what the trio had written and sighed in exasperation. She glanced over at them and said, "Will you EVER grow up?"

Nico shrugged. "I probably won't. It's no fun."

Thalia smiled innocently. "I'm not aging."

Percy looked as though he was struggling not to throw himself at Annabeth's feet and beg for her to take him back.

Nico sighed and grabbed Percy's ear. "C'mon, let's get out of here before you throw away what's left of your dignity."

"Ow, ow, pain, Nico, ow."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**A/N 2: **_Press the little review button below! Don't make it feel neglected._

And, it is now 2:37 a.m. Amazing how quickly time flies when you're correcting punctuation!


End file.
